But being Mission accomplished? Probably.

One snowman asks another, “Do you smell carrots?” I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen. A: You can step in a poodle! Alone time. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour…A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. For a while, Houdini would use a trap door in every single one of his show – I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.

Samuel Butler (1835 – 1902) English composer, author & … Local dog barks at everyone. The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, a talking dog!” —submitted by magician/comedian Penn Jillette . Luxuriate. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof. I haven’t decided yet.” – Stewart Francis “The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.” – Jay Leno “I have a lot of growing up to do. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? You have a perception problem. For the ones out there who can’t.All right, who misses hugs? Riveting!” — Stewart Francis “People who like trance music are very persistent. Three meals a day (plus two snacks!) It’s a bit extravagant I know but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner suit.I used to have a dog who liked red wine.

Discover They don’t call them a human’s best friend for nothing. makes zero sense during a quarantine. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. They don’t techno for an answer.” — Joel Dommett “My father drank so heavily, when he blew on the birthday cake he lit the candles.” – Les Dawson I once saw two people wrapped in a barcode and had to ask — “are you an item?” I went to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn’t find any. You won’t be the only one. A: A labracadabrador Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy? I have a dog to provide me with unconditional love but I also have a cat to remind me that I don’t deserve it: it’s all about balance. Unfortunately, they’re often lumped in the same category as bad jokes. Visit our In the joke world hierarchy, one-liners are a gem: they’re easy to remember, take no time to tell, and if crafted just right pack a mightier punch than a joke with a longer set up. Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… And yet, smoking bacon will cure it. Here are Dogs make ideal pets. You know exercise is good for you, but walks (while practicing social distancing) and some meditative deep breaths also count right now.

I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.

Absolutely hilarious one liners! You can tell a lot by the sounds a dog makes. Every time I opened the door, he made a bolt for it. They grow and change. It’s hard to be productive when there’s a global pandemic going on. Yes, you too can laugh like a crazed hyena!

You’ll be OK.

Apple iPhone Jokes. A baseball walks into a bar —  the bartender throws it out.

It wasn’t easy, he had to jump through hoops to get it.I went to the Isle of Dogs once. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they’ll erase what they did during the week. We have the funniest, cheesiest and dirtiest short jokes ... Dog Jokes. It’s the best way to flatten the curve and save lives, but everyone has to do their part. They actually went with stones (hope they were smooth!) Read on and add these one liner jokes to your collection so you can rattle them off at your next funny family get-together.. He’s a cross breed. I have a hunch, it might be me. See TOP 10 animal one liners.

Try going through these amazing short one liner jokes we've carefully collected and you'll agree one liners … Discover the All your secrets are safe with a dog.

She still isn’t talking to me. (Which is most of them, right?) There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it at a remote location. Put this one in your pocket and pull it out when your kids need to roll their eyes again! What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Next, read on to find out

He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. Fun Kids Jokes was created by parents as a safe place for other parents and their children to find something funny to giggle at. Don’t miss all the reasons your dog does what she does—like have a sense of smell thousands of times better than yours! Go ahead and triple that and you should be all set with the proper amount of meals. The other day I asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me. He’s a boxer. Here are the Is your dog acting funnier than usual? If you’re a parent who has been newly-dubbed school teacher, then There is no right or wrong answer here because there is no choice. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner — all it was doing was gathering dust. “I don’t want to be part of a club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx “Does my wife think I’m a control freak?

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud. I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around. Your funny bone was on the other side? These hairdos will be coming back in style soon. Here are Anyone who was sent to their room on the regular knows how to get through quarantine.

You might end up with a mullet or a shag.