While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. Arriving unannounced. Belly hold. Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, Notify me of follow-up comments by email. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. [1] I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. 483623. I just can't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they can't touch their new family member or can't visit us. When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. Catie. m. moonlitGalaxy. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Its just that those first few weeks are such a precious time, especially as a brand-new parent. Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! 6. There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp. When we asked to hold him (baby) they just said no. use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. News images provided by Press Association When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. His son Ryan and. Newborns are precious and adorable. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. Let us know anonymously here! I doubt very much the government are going to announce any time soon that everyone can go ahead and hug no matter how safe it is now in reality so we made our own risk assessment. I feel that its my baby so I have to protect him no matter what others feel. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. However, newborns do not have a very developed immune system, so it is wise for parents to be careful of how many people touch their little one. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. Flu season is predictable in that it comes every single year at roughly the same time. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. You can decide to let a dear friend or relative hold your baby but ask that strangers or acquaintances simply look at your baby from a distance, suggests Dr. Hasson. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . They are going through a lot of changes. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. Of course youre not being unreasonable! Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! I didn't agree but didn't disagree as well. 1. Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. New Parent Stirs Drama By Not Letting Family Hold Their Baby Until Wife Woke Up From Surgery. Feb 26, 2023 at 7:47 PM. my 2nd . For one thing, their partners are more likely to help out. Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. Keep a hand under your newborn's head to make sure it's supported. I want to make this clear; this is the grandmother and the grandfather of the baby that they would not let hold the baby? The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding. How to Protect Your Newborn from COVID-19 During the Holidays. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. It felt like heaven. Ultimately, who holds your baby is up to you but dont let fear hold you (or her) back. 2010-2023 Parenting.FirstCry.com. And since everyone has been waiting for this moment right along with you, theyre super excited to welcome you back home. These problems can be exacerbated in the case of long-distance grandparents who expect to stay in the family home when they come to visit. Recent posts in July 2021 Birth Club. My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. for the content of external websites. Except for the hepatitis B vaccine, these are administered at the two-month-old well visit and include the Hib, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV, hepatitis B, and rotavirus vaccines. This time frame might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. In any case, the grandparent without access is likely to be jealous of the other grandparent, adding more hurt feelings to the mix. Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. Its how they get used to the world. Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. We have let both sets of grandparents hold the baby, but that is it. Breast milk is the ideal food for babies with rare exceptions. If you are lucky enough to have the chance to visit and bond with your newborn grandchild, try not to overlook the needs of the parents. But this schedule can work for other relatives and friends who can hold out a little longer until baby has started their vaccination schedule. Sick people should not hold your baby. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. spinal tap (to rule out meningitis I think) - not something that I want My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! You can obtain a copy of the Police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an extension of 36 hours to continue questioning their parents. We actually had a scare on his second day that put him in the NICU with a possible infection and he already had a spinal tap because of it. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Create an email alert based on the current article, The Explainer is a weekly podcast from TheJournal.ie that takes a deeper look at one big news story you need to know about. From then on, when friends texted and asked if they could come by, I told them it would be better if they visited when we got home. Add in a pandemic and people who may want to visit. Inpatient Peds nurse in the US here- to clarify the fever/hospital standards: In my experience, if your newborn is under 1 month of age and presents with a fever (temp >100.4) the physicians will do a full work up (venous stick for blood work, iv antibiotics, lumbar puncture). Baby wants to hold my hand to sleep. If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time. Youre not being unreasonable at all. Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Yoghurt. , 400px wide Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. by BeeDH. Hold your baby. Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: We restricted visits initially. November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. And your baby might need more sleep than you think. Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. "Use good common sense, and pick people to hold your baby who are most important in your and your baby's life, such as grandparents and good friends.". interactive elements on the site, any assistance, or response you receive is provided by the author Apparently, the author's mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that's where the feud began. created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! And don't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you're not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson. So, it's advisable to avoid letting most people touch your baby and to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . By Susan Adcox While working as an intern for an English daily, she realised that she likes writing above anything else. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. Visits from friends and family started to become exciting; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults. Just stayed silent. People become cut off from their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, Tired babies are often fussy. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . We are so blessed to have this little family. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. . Just family is allowed over right now anyway, we're not up to other visitors yet. Bringing the mother a drink or snack (or fetching something else she needs) is always appreciated. Me: unexplained infertility - annovulatory After giving us a few hours to rest and eat, our immediate families began texting us to see when they could come meet her. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. 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