Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Where do bees go to the bathroom? Jul 6, 2020 - Explore John Wendt's board "Funny one liners" on Pinterest.

It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.” – Rhod Gilbert“I went down the local supermarket. Refresh your page, login and try again.The 16 Best Boy Bands of All Time—The Ultimate Ranking Just in Time For Your Summer Playlist30-Minute Cheesy Italian Bread Sticks Are Always a Good IdeaCelebrate Lucille Ball's Birthday by Reliving These 7 Why Can You See Certain Objects Beyond the Horizon?18 Pies You Absolutely Need in Your Life Like Crack Pie, Lemon Meringue and MoreTissue Time! We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. He said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.’ The doctor said, ‘Well don’t go there any more. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. Right". The largest collection of family one-line jokes in the world. It starts off with a ringing phone. ... One Liners for Kids Funny Headlines Dirty Short Jokes ... you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. And a shot of tequila.30. A. Swimming trunks. Riveting!” – Stewart Francis“My Dad used to say ‘fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.” – Harry Hill“I used to think sticks and stones could break my bones but words could never hurt me – until I fell into a printing press.” – Milton Jones“What’s Postman Pat called on his holiday? So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger.” – Nick Hall“I got a great review this morning.

Put a little boogey in it!What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Dad: "No sun. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.23. I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. An irrelephant.What do you call a fat psychic? ‘I have a split personality,’ said Tom, being Frank.97. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. Jun 9, 2020 - Explore karenwillia9274's board "funny one liners" on Pinterest. One-Liners Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. "What do you call a laughing motorcycle? 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious! He’s all right now.100. I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’13. Frostbite.What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? But now I’m not so sure.22. That is wrong on so many levels.7. Enter theseFrom witty one-liners that require some humor to good one-liners to share with kids, these 1. How do you make a tissue dance? The library! As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatynI refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.Introducing myself to new boyfriends parents: "Hi, I usually don't make it this far. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.60. I used to think I was indecisive.

The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? It’s all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick.” – Andrew Lawrence“Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my door’s always open.” – Paul F. Taylor“I always take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas.

What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes? The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question.

I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.5. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. Thanks for signing up! They eat whatever bugs themWhat is the tallest building in the world? He says, ‘82. conditions of our Read on and add these one liner jokes to your collection so you can rattle them off at your next funny family get-together. Clever one-liners … It went back four seconds.If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society. Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.45. Bored, a boy opens the family bible and begins to browse and follow the drawings in the book. To find out more see our I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I know live in constant fear.94. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. A YamahahahaQ: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?What do you call an alligator in a vest? I told them, “Just you wait!”98. Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.44. Clean Jokes!What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? Not only is it terrible, it’s also terrible.86. Boil the hell out of it!What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, ‘Watt?’70. When the cannibal showed up late to the buffet, they gave him the cold shoulder.81. "What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? I don’t know and I don’t care.58. How do you make holy water? A book fell on my head the other day. An InvestigatorWhat do you call a baby monkey? Enjoy 101 hilarious one liners that your kids will love to laugh at! I saw a sign the other day that said, ‘Watch for children,’ and I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.’93. See more ideas about Funny, Funny quotes, Bones funny. It has the most stories!What did the leopard say after eating his owner? Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. You agree by closing this box or continuing to use our site. Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.61. They’ll never expect it back.32. By clicking "Send", you agree to our Just some very funny summations from some very funny people, all told in one line.